You trip and fall to your death.
Critical fail, you swallow a knife and it explodes.
"As the assassin foolishly tries to slide down the gravelly side of the mountain, he trips and slits his throat on his knife. He’s dead. Anyone else want to do anything stupid?"
"You somehow determine that the golem is made of bacon.”
"You go to search the body, but manage instead to trigger the bear trap. I’m rolling damage now."
"You shoot your unconscious bleeding cleric, roll damage. Don’t forget your favored enemy bonus."
"You fail to notice the pit in front of you as you direct your horse to walk into it."
"The mugger then proceeds to shoot his friend in the foot"
"the opponent sneezes and accidentally stabs himself to death"
"You try to pick the door, but the door picks you. You’ve been impaled."
"You let go of the bow instead of its string, and it hits you in the face before falling at your feet."
me: can i just pretend like i totally meant to do that
//rolls a nat 20 on a bluff check
"Everyone totally saw that but it looked like you completely meant to do that."
"Right. The archer in the tree just shot himself in the foot. With a Longbow. He is now pinned to the tree with a clothyard shaft. Oh look. You’re all next."
"You fall off of the cliff and are knocked unconscious. The rogue loots your armor and weapons after slitting your throat."
As a make up artist, a client informed me today that they had discovered my blog and really appreciated what I do. She said she knew I was already an artist because of my profession, but my blog made her think of me as a true revolutionist. I don’t know the common use of the word revolutionist, however I think she meant it as in bringing forth change. I thanked her, thought about it a second and then asked her a question. I asked, “based on my blog, not my technical skills, what kind of artist would you call me?” She replied, “Well you are creating today’s societal expectation of “feminine” beauty upon the canvas of a man! What you do doesn’t have a title, you, Elliott Alexzander, are the artist and the art.”
I started to cry.
Browsing the bee and wasp tags on Tumblr reveals that many have troubles telling them apart. Here’s a nice reference picture for those with that problem. (x)
Yep. GET IT RIGHT PEOPLE!
Here’s a quick diagnostic: